God Got Bored On Sunday

God Got Bored On Sunday

God got bored on Sunday and in a mischievous kind of way
said “I’m gonna make religious leaders start to justify their pay”.
Saying ‘Mary’s gone agnostic down in Accrington,
and ‘one of you has got to save her from hell’.
They were all put together in a call centre
and told “you’d better give the girl a bell”.

The pope called Mary on Monday
and said ‘I want to make a Catholic out of you.
I’ve got a papal dispensation here
I can forgive the things you do’.

She was phoned by Desmond Tutu on Tuesday
And in a cosy Christian kind of way
He tickled her with his laughter and
tempted her to pray.

Wednesday bought a call from a Witness
who said ‘judgement day is near’.
She guessed his tales of the ‘end time’
were supposed to fill her full of fear.

While talking to the Ayatollah on Thursday
she had to put the Dalai Lama on hold
she forgot for hours that he was waiting
but his patience was a wonder to behold.

By Friday Mary’s phone was humming
She had all the religions in a queue
Sikh’s and Muslims and Mormons
Taoists, Baptist’s and Jews

Her head was spinning when a Dervish called
late on Saturday night.
But, he couldn’t get her to turn with him
though he tried with all his might.

God called Mary on Sunday and said
“have you time to speak”.
Mary said it’s nice to hear you voice
you’re the first girl to call all week.

©David Raines 2011